Mission Impossible
Sunday, September 04, 2005
There was a time when I would religiously blog everyday.. now.. I hardly have the time to.
Now I hope I have.
"I think we seniors should go out and bond with the juniors"... "I want to increase the presence of Block D within the hall"... "Participate.. don't have to organise.. that's all I ask for"... "To bridge the gap between the juniors and seniors.. that's what I hope to do to bond the block"... "We have a great bunch of juniors and I think with them we can help hype up block D"...
Or so these were what I said either during seniors' meeting or during the wayang elections itself. But as the days go by everything seems to be crumbling apart. It's only now I see whose heart really belong to the hall.. the block. But even if they don't want to belong.. can I force them to?
IBG is a test of endurance.. to see which block can stand the test of time.. Why must the white supporters always be these miserly few? Why must the white players always be those few as well? It's hard to stand in the face of other block heads or even the sports captains to say "That's all I have from my block." or "I only have 4 female runners. Can or not?" (they needed at least 6 from the WHOLE BLOODY BLOCK) or "I only have 4 female swimmers". Why must I be the one who have to run around getting players / swimmers when there are sports captains / secs chosen long ago? Why must I be facing stupid problems like idiots locking themselves in their rooms 1 day before the cheerleading competition and not doing anything? AND have people telling me "You know about blah blah blah how come you still put her in charge?" (first I didn't and second what the hell am I supposed to do about it?)
And that's not the end of all the idiosyncracies I have to endure.. I have people (not only one.. that's how bad it is) telling me that they don't want to be in block comm anymore because of some other people inside it as well.. I set deadlines where no one follows.. I plan duty rosters when no one botheres to follow.. I have people showing me face about what is said about their level.. I have crazy people who need me to clear out a storeroom for them to stay in..
So how does it feel making a fool of ourselves during cheerleading? How does it feel being the leader of the group of whites when the yellows, the blues, the oranges and the reds have at least twice the number or people present? How does it feel to lead a cheer when no one follows you? How does it feel to chop the place all the way in front when the emcee says "come forward" only to turn back and see the people directly behind wearing orange and red (not white) and the whites are still slowly strolling behind? How does it feel when I tell the orange and red to clear for the whites only to hear "never mind la we sit behind".
It feels like I've stepped up for eternity already.. but standing in the lift looking at the IBG calander I've only been up for 3 weeks.
3 weeks of not doing tutorials.. 3 weeks of smoking through quizzes.. 3 weeks of seeing the dream I had fading away.
Just like I said "No we must participate in all events" "No we must swim even if you swim breaststroke for freestyle" "No we can't walkover" "No we must come up with some cheerleading shit within tonight" I know this time I can't give up also. Endure, I must. Someone tell me how am I going to walk the rest of the journey when each step I take I feel increasingly lonely?
So to those that are still there for me. Thank you so very much. You know who you are.
And special thanks to Matt for coming up with the H-Company crap.. all the "pretty.. can already" and "hamsom.. can already" chants.. the Pretty and Handsome songs.. the North-South-East-West Cheers.. the newsletter and being always there despite being a Year 3 senior.
To you sir, I salute.
Signed off at
12:25 am
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