Part 2
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
All the below was supposed to be in the previous post.. but I thought this date was significant so I should create a new post for today =)
Had been freaking busy the past few weeks/days that I only realised that day it is today.. after checking my horoscope. That's why my mother told me during the weekend to come home on Tuesday. Will there ever be a year that I'll forget this day totally?
So there was the time that I would yearn for celebrations and pray for many many presents.. But somehow this year's different.. I just wanna go through it peacefully.. I have nothing on my wishlist and am seriously just content with the SMSes of well-wishes. =) Signs of getting old.. or simply signs of weathering out of my cranky 'old' self.
虚实真假
An unlikely friend walked past my room the other day.. and he dropped by for a chat. It's been long since we last talked.. those were the days when we used to stay on the same level and we would just rattle all sorts of rubbish. And so we did again.. but somehow amongst the so-called rubbish I gained great insight to all my 'troubles'...
BTW he spoke in Chinese throughout.. haha quite comical coz he was going to China or something.. and so trying to brush it up.. think angmoh-struggling-with-Chinese...
And I told him about my Block woes.. (yeah this doesn't seem to get settled does it?) The troubles I'm facing.. the obstacles that stumble me.. the people who don't co-operate.. and he just replied with a simple one-liner
"Block D 是假的. 其实 Sheares Hall 也是假的."
It stunned me for a while. Simple as it seems.. it made a whole lot of sense. None of us wanted to be in this Block. They were chosen in.. if not randomly slotted in. And there I went one semester ago standing up in front of these people telling them that I will make them the best of friends which now turns out to be utter bullshit. There's no way that 90 people can clique together seamlessly. It's so much easier to follow your small clique of friends. It's so much more convenient to stay in your comfort zone instead of venturing into others' zones. It's so makes so much more sense to plan your own time than to let us plan for you. So why am I cheating myself?
So these few days I've been avoiding this I-do-what-I-must-and-if-you-don't-wanna-join-in-it's-up-to-you attitude. I'm not going to nag and whine.. to shout and irritate. Numbers don't matter to me anymore. They can all not come for the event I'm cool. They can leave and I'm cool. Comparison with other blocks is draining and there's actually no point coz the other blocks are not real too.
I should focus more on grooming better people (than me) to take over the ship.
感觉
There was a moment in my life where I was obsessed with this idea of feeling before friendship in a relationship. But when the floodgates are opened then I really did a reality check on myself. If I barged through the open goal it would lead nowhere.
Never really brought up my relationship problems with anyone before.. dunno why I suddenly poured out to this friend of mine.. and he again replied with a cool one-liner:
"跟着感觉走."
与其走到尽头,不如选择另个出口?
Biathlon
This will be the last few sentenses i'm going to type tonight because I'm so freaking tired. Started my 1st Biathlon training with Weijie just now swimming 20 laps within 26 minutes which we set for ourselves. (I exceeded by 42 seconds) But it was the 1st time I swam 20 laps non-stop all frontcrawl! (ok I cheated I swam 3 laps breaststroke) But I can't imagine running another 5km after that. I'll just die on the road.
Will improve with more trainings.
Good night.
Signed off at
1:49 am
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