Self-Containment
Friday, October 05, 2007
Keiko said I should revive my blog.. so here I go..
The drive for blogging has waned down a lot every since coming back from SEP.. No time? No point? Maybe a little of both. Blogs are such weird tools. On one hand you know the whole world will be reading in time to come (being one of the most searchable blogs out there) while on the other there are some feelings you can't pen down for self-preservation's sake.
Which means that I can only tell you guys that I'm down.. crashing.. the inside of me wants to scream to let it all out.. but I can't tell you why.
Just like I still have to maintain happy and smily to the world.. go for long runs to destress.. and mask everything with a flu attack (which came timely). I guess I don't want people to be concerned about me. Because I may not be able to reciprocate the same amount of concern.
Though through the process of rag I failed to conceal the fact that I'm actually quite an emo person. (other than those few who know that I actually cried during BMT POP haha.. though not for OCS Comms Parade). I broke down watching MidwayFair Rag Video before talking to the international kids.. I broke down AGAIN watching the same video 1 week before rag.. I cried when the float stopped construction at 10pm.. I teared when we did an extremely successful (almost glitch-free) performance to the Padang crowd.. and of course I bawled my heart out when we clinched shields after shields. Now watching Rag videos again I still feel overwhelmed with emotions.. even reading Val's latest article on Shout almost welled tears in my eyes.
Point is, I can get all emo about what's affecting me. But I won't tell.. not at least till I'm comfortable to face up to reality and talk about it.
For now, let me focus on the really important things in the final year of NUS life - FYP, Studies, Projects, Real Friends.
The last one is real hard though. I wonder how many friends I'll lose contact with once I step out of this very self-contained institution called NUS.. or the even more self-contained Sheares Hall?
Time will tell.
Signed off at
1:35 pm
▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▌